"The Air Diet: Finally, a Breath of Fresh...Air?"

Breaking News: After years of research and analysis, the world's top food scientists have finally come to a consensus on the best diet for human beings. It's called the "Air Diet," and it involves consuming nothing but air.

That's right, folks. Forget about those pesky fruits, vegetables, and proteins. Just breathe in that sweet, sweet oxygen and you'll be in the best shape of your life.

According to the scientists, the Air Diet has a multitude of benefits. It's low in calories, so you'll lose weight in no time. It's also high in fiber, since you'll be inhaling all those dust particles and pollutants. Plus, think of all the money you'll save on groceries!

Of course, there are a few side effects. You may feel a little lightheaded at first, but that's just your body adjusting to the new diet. And don't be surprised if you start seeing hallucinations or hearing voices. That's just your brain telling you how much it loves the Air Diet.

But really, who needs food when you can just breathe? It's the ultimate form of sustenance, and it's free! So say goodbye to your taste buds and hello to a lifetime of pure, unadulterated air. Your body will thank you.